Let Them Play
Adults use word and language to work through issues, children use play.
Children make sense of their world through play because they are primarily right-brained, non-verbal thinkers, which means they process through movement and physical engagement. By using figures and creating a mini version of their world or playing pretend and trying on different roles, they are able to control and experiment with different ideas, thoughts, and feelings. Children are practicing, rehearsing, and coming up with new understandings and resolutions constantly with themes such as good vs. evil, care taking, and community helpers.
Since play is a dress-rehearsal for real life, it often mimics what is happening in the larger world. This makes times of crisis the perfect time to let children play! During and after 9/11, even after teachers removed airplanes from preschool classrooms, children built and knocked down block towers, using anything they could find as a pretend plane, over and over again. Even when teachers who felt uncomfortable with this play took away the toy planes, children still needed to play in order to understand what was going on around.
WHAT TYPES OF PLAY ARE EXPECTED AND TYPICAL DURING THIS TIME?
DOCTOR AND MEDICAL PLAY
Themes: Sick vs. Healthy, Caretaking, Life & Death.
These themes can make even the most easy going of us nervous. Avoid preventing or interrupting this play even if it makes you uncomfortable. And even if their play is not accurate, let them experiment, invent, and imagine what the outcomes might be. This is their way of coping and understanding, and they will arrive at their own resolution.
SCHOOL AND TEACHER PLAY
Themes: Routine, Rehearsal, Power & Control
We are all missing our normal routines and way of life. Children will be struggling with when they will return to school, what the teacher is doing when they are not in school, what their friends are doing, and imagining what might be happening at school without them. Playing school or teacher gives them a sense of familiarity and comfort, and helps them connect what is happening on a larger scale with their immediate personal experience of being home or in a new care setting.
WORKING FROM HOME
Themes: Responsibility, Helping, Personal Space, Ownership
Children who are seeing the unusual sight of parents and older siblings working from home might set up their own pretend office or work area in order to understand through mimicking. Having their own space to work and play just like the grown-ups is important for a sense of control and a sense ownership over shared home spaces.
GOOD VS. EVIL
Themes: Religion, Spirituality, Power, Control,
This will vary depending on cultural and religious practices. We are all feeling the sense that a force larger than ourselves and our community is advancing at a rapid pace. As news anchors and grown-ups use powerful and abstract language to talk about an invisible threat (illness, germs etc.) children are sensing our anxiety as well as a major shift in their day to day. This might look like more aggressive play such as cops & robbers, superheroes, bad guys vs. good guys, and “being in charge.” This type of play is less about the literal content and more about the themes they are grappling with. Allow children to experiment in this arena and play out what happens when the bad guy or the good guy wins.
HOW CAN I RESPOND TO THEIR PLAY?
There are three practical skills that adults can integrate into their interactions during play to communicate these messages
Reference: Sue Bratton & Gary Landreth, Child Parent Relationship Therapy Treatment Manual).
Tracking Behavior
Reflecting nonverbal play behavior – stating what is seen or observed
Scenario: Child picks up trucks from the shelf - “You’ve decided to play with the trucks.”
Scenario: Child’s energy picks up and they run back and forth between two sides of the room. - “You’re running back and forth.”
Reflecting Content
Reflecting child’s verbalization or meaningful actions in a paraphrase
Scenario: The child makes the dollhouse figures say “oh no, everyone run into the house, he’s coming!“ and the dolls go inside. - “Everyone inside the house is safe.”
Scenario: The child verbalizes “Yesterday my sister and I went to the fair and we went on all the rides and ate cotton candy! - “You got to do something really fun with your sister yesterday.”
Reflecting Feelings
Reflecting the child’s feelings either through verbal or nonverbal cues.
Scenario: The child runs up to you with the painting they just made and says “look, look!” - “Wow, You’re really proud of yourself.”
Scenario: The child goes to the bucket to look for more blocks, finds that it’s empty and throws it on the ground and whines. - “You’re feeling upset that there are not more of those to play with.”